Looney Lists!
 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART DOG
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L,
AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
'83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
FREE PUPPIES: ? COCKER SPANIEL - ? SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE - 89 cents
GERMAN SHEPHARD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.
FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG...LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE...BETTER BE REWARD.
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
'n the laffs continue...
Illiterate? Write today for help.
Auto repair service. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Dog for sale. Eats anything and is fond of children.
Stock up and save! Limit one per customer.
For sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Three-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Salary and Blue Cross.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
For rent: Six room hated apartment.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.
Man, honest, will take anything.
Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops!
And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. |
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