Still no word from Agent X. His last report was filed from paradise where he was supposedly off following the distant sounds of drums. BFI Central has sent other agents to check on the location of his sorry poisoned oak butt 'n to take over the search. A reprimand appears in order. Federal agencies just can't get 'n keep good help these days. Where's Mulder 'n Scully when we need them? Oh yeah, they work for that other agency ... drat! At this rate, we'll never catch The Momma. Heck ... we can't keep track of our own agents, let alone some crazed bagged woman.

In the meantime, back on the mainland, tourists have gathered at Mount Rushmore in celebration of Presidents Day. However, something seems strange about the national monument ...