It has been way too long since we last saw The Momma in Cairo. She has managed to stay underground for over two months now. I find this a bit hard to believe. Due to her usual flamboyant nature, I had expected to catch up with her much sooner than this. Such a slippery feisty independant broad. Pardon, but I digress. Shortly after midnight I received a collect call from some guy named RICK living in Australia. Bad enough he called collect, but he kept yelling G'Day Matey throughout our call, due to a poor connection I'd assume. Either that or he was well into his cups, or a tad delusional considering what he had to say regarding the illusive momma. Rick apparently is an amateur astrologer and one starry night as he was gazing into his telescope, he spied something unusual in the skies above Australia.
Thinking he had discovered a new comet, he quickly captured the object on film and recorded the coordinates. Upon development of the film, he was shocked to discover that it wasn't a comet ... a star ... a bird ... or a plane ... but ( yeah, get this ) ... SuperMomma! Hey I don't make this up ... I only report the facts.
Now I've been informed that Rick is a great guy and would never have intentionally helped us, the men in brown shoes, capture his friend, The Momma, but he was a bit short of cash. He waited a few weeks before he made this call. Unfortunately for Rick, he thought he was dialing The National Enquirer Magazine to sell said photo. I of course being the clever g-man, did not tell him of his error in dialing. I promised Rick big bucks for the photo and the coordinates upon receipt of same. I never sent the money ... but Rick, smart Momma Hero that he is, never sent the sighting coordinates either. Check Mate ...
I have attached the latest surveillance photo of The Momma received 6/27/97. It would appear she has taken large amounts of steriods, but if one looks closely at the face, there is no doubt that this is a photo of The Momma ... strange, but true! Our search for The Momma continues ...
Respectfully submitted 'n G'Day ... 