Absolutely everyone was there. An event not to be missed among
the fashion elite. Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to the Momma, Agent
X had gotten word of the big event, and jetted into New York City just
moments before the big event was to start. And start it did. The
production began with hundreds of bag-headed doves being released into
the mostly bag-headed audience. Followed by a high-energy runway
show, featuring the world's most famous supermodels, all bag-headed and
bedecked in glorious brown paper. For the grand finale, the Momma
herself strutted down the runway, gold studded bag over her head, and
wearing her trademark bikini, accompanied by several hunky bag-headed men and one
rubber chicken. The crown cheered. The music -- down home blues
-- blared. The orders were pouring in...
... and at just that moment, Agent X emerged from the crowd and jumped onto
the runway. A hush filled the room as Agent X boldly asserted that
he had finally won, and would bring the bag-headed Momma to justice.
Though the room that night was filled to the brim, no one quite knows what
happened next. In a flash on blinding light, the Momma disappeared,
next to be seen standing at the very top of the Empire State Building, larger
than life, and sporting her now infamous bag. Foiled again, Agent
X was overrun by the Momma's adoring public, and rushed to St. Vincent's
hospital for treatment of all sorts of minor, yet extremely painful, injuries.
The Momma was only briefly visible atop the Empire State Building (lucky
for us that this dedicated reporter was able to snap the only pictures of
this miraculous event -- for which she was handsomely compensated by the
National Inquirer). No one knows where she went, or how she managed
to climb off the towering skyscraper, or where she will next be seen.