UPDATE: midnight 8/28/97 ... finally arrived in Memphis.
Attached find:
BFI form #76984367598B:Extra Expense Reimbursement Request
- $5,000.00 for oil used between Houston and Memphis
- $1,500.00 for Vega engine replacement after engine seized in the backwoods of Arkansas
- $1.36+tax for one bottle Calamine Lotion ( BFI helpful hint: never relieve yourself in the woods without toilet paper and NEVER NEVER use surrounding leaves as substitute )
The reports in The Memphis News of an Elvis 'n Momma Sighting on 8/14/97 have been substantiated by numerous
doughnut patrons and Elvis lookalikes, but I failed to interview Tony Angel as he appears to be on his own search for the momma. I managed to get past the crowds and broke into the Graceland mansion for further investigation. After completely searching said premises, following doughnut crumbs, all I found was some old dude with big hair attired in a skin tight white sequined leisure suit 'n bunny slippers ... eating bacon 'n doughnuts ... and listening to this old record that I've attached for you to hear, over and over again. He failed to respond to my questioning ... muttered something like "Maaa" on occasion ... 'n just sat there watching TV without sound, eating continuously, and singing along at times with the recording ... uh-huh uh-huh. No point in staying here ... I being the trained BFI professional, know a valid clue when I see one.
I realized that Memphis would yield no further clues to the where-a-bouts of the illusive Momma. So looking thru my files on this nonconformist woman, I noticed she had a friend in Florida named Mary aka Nomad Cyber Queen Another momma odd ball I'd presume by her name and probably not willing to help in our search, but who knows I might pick up a clue there.
3:00am 8/29/97 ... arrived at the home of Mary in the middle of thunderstorm.
Upon careful investigation of premises, I concurred the subject in question was still asleep, so I looked around the outside before entering to wake her up for questioning. Luck was with me for when I peeked into the mailbox ...EUREKA ... a postcard from The Momma. Unfortunately in my haste to photograph said postcard I dropped it into a small puddle rendering the message unreadable, but the BFI lab will manage to clean up image I'm sure. I photographed the postcard which I've also attached to this report, and slipped the original back into the mailbox. However I did see the postmark, so I'm off at once in hot pursuit to Paradise ( beats driving around the backwoods in a Vega ) , leaving Mary sleeping, unaware of my ever being here! ... Gawd I'm clever !
Aloha ... 