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I'm glad I'm a woman -Yes I am, yes I am. I don't
live on Budweiser, Beer nuts and Spam. I don't brag to my buddies about
my erections; I won't drive to Hell before asking directions. I act nice
at parties; don't act like a clown; And I know how to put the damn toilet
seat down. I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt. My belt is
not hidden beneath my beer gut. I don't go around re-adjusting my crotch;
or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch. I don't belch in
public; don't scratch my behind. I'm a woman, you see... I'm just not
that kind! I'm glad I'm a woman; So glad I could sing-- and thrilled I'm
not covered in shag carpeting. Hair won't grow from my ears, Or cover my
back. And when I bend over You can't see my crack. I'm a woman, alas--
and I'm proud, don't you see? I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat
when I pee. I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball. I don't swagger
and spit like a Neanderthal. I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise
for chicks-- I'll never join the "Hair Club", or think with my dick. I'm
a woman, by chance And thankful I am! I'm so glad I'm a woman, Not a man,
yes I am!
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Miscellaneous 'Musements
