Tee - Shirt Sayings

"Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"

"Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair"

"I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead"

"Husband and Cat Lost... Reward for Cat"

"Husbands Should Come With Instructions"

"Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time"

"I Want It All and I Want It Delivered... Now!"

"Life Is Hard; Then You're Not Here"

"Bigamy Is Having One Husband Too Many. Monogamy Is the Same"

"I'm Not Suddenly a Dirty Old Man... I've Been Practicing Since 1949"

"Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton"

"Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt"

"Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes... Use Birth Control"

"60-Year-Old, One Owner, Needs Parts... Make Offer"

"If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees"

"If You Can Read This... Kiss A Teacher"

"A Nest Isn't Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the Attic"

"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"

"My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink"

"I Yell Because I Care"

"If You Remember the '60s, You Weren't Really There"

"Procrastinate Now"

"Rehab Is for Quitters"

"Reelect Nobody"

"My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse...
He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse"